No Nothing November.
Such a simple name for such a life changing thing. At the risk of sounding cheesy and cliche, I wouldn’t be were I am or where I’m going in life if it wasn’t for this month. I was in a rough place in life, and like a lot of men my age and younger, I didn’t know what I was doing “wrong.” I had food on the table, and clothes on my back, but I felt hollow and confused.
I had done everything I was told that led to “happiness” and “a good life” and somehow, it didn’t work out. For guys in the Manosphere, this is common. We have long since learned that we were lied to as children, and one of the hardest things is undoing the programming they spent two decades embedding.
So how has my life changed since doing #NoNothingNovember? I won $500 million in the lottery and hot babes are now blowing me everytime I write a blog post!
Just breaking your balls. #NNN was no silver-bullet, “magically fix your life” snake oil. No Nothing November worked for me because I did. It was just a good old fashioned “get your shit done” promise made to yourself.
It was a self challenge, and if there’s anything a man like Herk needs, it’s a challenge. Mountains to hurdle, obstacles to fuck, women to climb.
What did I accomplish during the month? Well, for one, I started a new career. What started as a side hustle for me to make some extra cash I loved so much I went all in on and decided to quit my job and just write for a living. Was it the most financially smart decision in the short term? No, absolutely not, but I was enjoying it and making enough money to keep me afloat and then some just from freelancing.
If I want to build a writer’s empire, I can’t half ass it. I don’t believe in half-assing things. I have to put in the hours, the blood, the sweat, the tears, the doubt, the starving, the struggle.
I have to put myself in it, and I’m going to do it.
No Nothing November taught me that I can still conquer shit like I used to. I can still be the man I want to be, like I used to. One of the most disorienting feelings is waking up and realizing you’re not the man you used to be. You’re nothing like him. It leads to a weird sort of identity crisis where you just wish you could get back to what you used to be. Guys who have been in a long term relationship for years and had their frame withered away to nothing over time know what I mean.
I got some things done in November, some things I still haven’t got done that I’ve started, but I’m working. This blog post was meant to be my final thoughts on the issue, and it was meant to be up in a day or two after December started. I’m like a week past it, but there’s an honest reason here. As most of my readers know, my computer gave out on me during the month. So I can only use a computer that I borrow, essentially. I know one of my neighbors and she lets me use hers, but I can’t be over here 7 days per week.
To put it in perspective, right after I made the decision to quit my job and live my dream of a life as a writer and freelancer, my computer melted. The ink on my two weeks notice was long since dry and I was gone, officially. Two days, I lived my dream and then my computer melted.
To say that I freaked out and stressed myself into vomiting would’ve been understandable. It’s like quitting your career to be a professional driver and the day after you burn the bridge, your car gives out.
It would have been understandable and a lot of men would have done it. But I didn’t. I didn’t stress. Two months before, if my computer had died out, I would’ve stressed over it just because I couldn’t afford to replace it. After all the ass kicking I got done in November, I had gotten back into the swing of things and let it roll off my back.
The fact I suddenly didn’t have a way to write or freelance wasn’t going to kill my writing and freelance business. I would make it happen by any means necessary.
I got resourceful, and I was glad I was friendly enough previously that I had a social connection I could tap to help me out.
Which was one of the lessons I relearned in the month.
So, what did I learn in No Nothing November? Well, my goals were great. Those who followed me know that the rules were to 1) Forgo mindless media consumption, 2) have a clear daily plan and goals to meet, and 3) write and exercise every day.
This meant that I couldn’t be bullshitting on Netflix while I was also scrolling around on Twitter or something. I also had to have a daily checklist of shit I knew needed to get done and that is such an amazing thing. Everyone assumes that having a “To Do” list will lend to a marginal increase in efficiency at most, but for me it was drastic. Have a checklist to work down kept me focused on what I needed to get done at the moment. The last thing was the simplest. Write every day and exercise every day.
The first major thing I relearned about myself is that I could shrug off shit and keep going. I could take a hit and keep going, even if the hit came at the worst moment and was a blindside.
Another major thing was that fostering friendships with even the most minor people, beyond simply acknowledging they exist, can reap many benefits. I’ve always believed in treating people well in your life, but some don’t consider the UPS guy worth talking to as a person. He’s just there to do his job and no time for cordiality and that’s a terrible attitude to have. It’s not only dismissive of them as a person, and a tad on the solipsistic side, even when you think of it from a purely selfish standpoint you are essentially alienating future help or benefits just by not fostering and maintaining a small amount of interaction.
What was the last thing I learned? When all else is said and done, nothing in the world works like work. Hard work, nose the grind, and just getting it done leaves a feeling that is like no other.
Conquering is a flavor that can not be artificed.
Now what did I fail at this month? Almost everything, at least once anyway. I had some high highs, but low lows. I messed up the writing. I messed up the exercise. I messed up the schedule keeping. I messed up the whole “don’t mindlessly scroll” schtick.
I messed up a lot, and I knew I would. So when I started the month I decided to give myself a daily total. Each of the three goals could be upto 10 points, and every failure docked points. It didn’t mean anything, it was just to keep me accountable and to give me a metric by which to judge my days and know what I needed to work on. Some days I got 30/30, and some days 0/30. Most were between 17 and 27, I’d wager, so I did pretty well.
I learned how to keep myself accountable and on top of that I started busting my ass harder than I ever had. I took risks and bet on myself and even when life tried to trip me as soon as I got started, it didn’t matter. I just brushed it off and kept going.
I failed a lot. I changed a lot. I made a lot. That’s honestly the biggest reason this post is up so late. With the holiday season approaching, I’ve been using every second I could get trying to fill the holiday rush on my freelancing, making for some very satisfied customers. And hey, the money doesn’t hurt.
So where do I go from here? Well, I’ll take what worked from the month and begin to apply it to my life. A part of working all the time is I naturally just stopped worrying about exercising as much. That has to change. I’m rebuilding my exercise routine.
The mindless social media and netflix/youtube has to go. For the most part, I still haven’t gotten back into that. But I went from watching two movies the entire month of November, and no shows or anything, to watching one or two vids here and there per day. All and all, I’ve probably been on Youtube about 10 times in the past 10 days which is still a bit much.
So I’ll be restarting the social media cutback, which is difficult with the holidays and working on logistics and keeping up with everybody but it must be done.
I’ll also be using my To Do list to continue getting things done at an advanced level. With that, I plan to finish out with the bulk of my freelancing workload and get this blog rejumpstarted.
I’ve essentially taken a mini vacation from the blog while I was working. This is unacceptable. I have to start putting more into this. This is my work and it’s keeping me sane and also driven and focused.
Join me as we kick off 2015 with a boot to the ass and a mouth full of dirt.
Legends of Men 